TRIGGER WARNING: If you are sensitive to the topic of weight gain, weight loss, or anything related to weight, this might not be the best blog post for you to read. Click here to see some of my favorite recipes.
First, I wanted to start by saying that this is my story and my journey with weight gain. I wasn’t sure if I was going to talk about this topic. The reason it’s taken me so long to talk about it is that I’m constantly putting myself out on the internet. Even though I choose to share what I share, putting my life on the internet can leave me in a vulnerable space. I want to tell you to share my journey of self-love through weight gain.
Not Feeling Comfortable Talking About It
At the peak of my weight gain, I didn’t feel super comfortable talking about it. That’s not because I think I’m overweight, not because I don’t think I love myself, not that I don’t think I’m beautiful (and all bodies are beautiful), but it didn’t feel great FOR ME. My content is based on health and healthy weight loss. I make a ton of recipes, ebooks of all of these topics, but that’s not where my head was at when I was gaining weight. In simple terms, I just wasn’t taking my own advice.
There were reasons this happened…
I had a lot of life changes happen to me: a year and a half ago, I was dancing with a ballet company. I was so lean because I was dancing and sweating for hours and hours on end. Because I needed the energy to dance, I was eating very healthy and clean. Fast forward 6 months and I made the decision to quit the dance company.
On top of a career change, I went through some things in my personal life: public breakup, moving to a new city, a new relationship, Mae and my brother moving away. You get it: there was a ton of big changes, emotional situations, and winter depression all wrapped up into one.
For someone that is 5’2” and has been the same weight for the last 3-4 years, gaining over 10 pounds in 4 months was a lot. Here are the things that I did that led to the weight gain:
- Eating out at restaurants A LOT.
- Eating late at night A LOT, like literally every single night I was snacking and eating everything I could find.
- Eating so much junk food
Everything I listed above was an unhealthy coping mechanism, which I have not experienced in a very long time. It was strange because I like to share healthy ways for people to cope that does not involve binge eating. Even though I’m an advocate for healthy coping mechanisms, I wanted to remind you of something: I am HUMAN.
Like everyone else on this earth (and everyone that you see online), I am not perfect. I fall down and I make mistakes. What’s important is how we handle tough times. How we deal with them is what makes us stronger. We all go through ups and downs in our lives
I AM HUMAN
I want to emphasize this point: I am not unhappy with my body. Honestly, I think I look healthy and I AM HEALTHY. What wasn’t healthy was the way that I gained the weight and the unhealthy coping skills that came along with going through a hard time. I was super isolated, not social, experiencing winter depression, and barely doing any physical activity.
It is okay to gain weight. It’s normal for our bodies to do so. It is okay to talk about weight and discuss your struggles or insecurities. We are all in this together. It’s normal (and can be good/healthy even) to gain weight when you are happy and that weight gain is a result of spending more time with friends and family, or when you’re creating better relationships with food. Remember: be kind to yourself if you are going through something similar because you are human too.
Differences between unhealthy and healthy weight gain
There are healthy weight gains and unhealthy weight gains. What happened to me is that I did not see this as a healthy weight gain because it happened over a short period of time. I was over-eating trying to cope with so many changes going on in my life.
I am slowly coming out of it. I want to constantly feel my best and every day, I am starting to feel better. What helped me the most is traveling and breaking the routine I was in. I recently went to Europe and I was walking around a ton, exploring new places, and it felt like I was revitalized. Now I’m slowly getting back into shape because of ballet. I am super passionate about ballet and I never want to let go of that dream AGAIN.
Follow me on this journey
I’m also following my own advice and sticking to my meal plans that I have created! I want to start feeling good again (and of course, I will still be eating vegan junk food when my body wants it). I’ll be following the plans in Freedom Food 1.0 and Freedom Food 2.0 to help jumpstart eating what makes me feel the best at all times! I’ll be posting different recipes on here and on my youtube channel so be sure to check that out!
Want the full story? Check out my video for more information: